By: Jane Botabara-Yap

Wikipedia defined Fear as a negative emotion induced by a perceived threat that causes animals (& humans) to move quickly away from the location of the perceived threat, and sometimes hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight or flight response).

Some fears are rational, like when you are on your last paycheck and you have family to feed, or downturns in economy, effects of global warming, war on terrorism – this kind of fear prepares us to take positive action. However, there is the irrational fear that stems from negative experiences from our childhood – some of these fears are called phobias, which according to a Psychology website affect 10% of adult.

These common phobias typically involve the environment, animals, or specific situations.

1. Arachnophobia - The fear of spiders. This phobia tends to affect women more than men.

2. Ophidiophobia - The fear of snakes. Often attributed to evolutionary causes, personal experiences, or cultural influences.

3. Acrophobia - The fear of heights. This fear can lead to anxiety attacks and avoidance of high places.

4. Agoraphobia - The fear of situations in which escape is difficult. This may include crowded areas, open spaces, or situations that are likely to trigger a panic attack. People will begin avoiding these trigger events, sometimes to the point that they cease leaving their home.

5. Cynophobia - The fear of dogs. This phobia is often associated with specific personal experiences, such as being bitten by a dog during childhood.

6. Astraphobia - The fear of thunder and lightening. Also known as Brontophobia, Tonitrophobia, or Keraunophobia.

7. Trypanophobia - The fear of injections. Like many phobias, this fear often goes untreated because people avoid the triggering object and situation.

8. Social Phobias - The fear of social situations. In many cases, these phobias can become so severe that people avoid events, places, and people that are likely to trigger an anxiety attack.

9. Pteromerhanophobia - The fear of flying. Often treated using exposure therapy, in which the client is gradually and progressively introduced to flying.

10. Mysophobia - The fear of germs or dirt. This maybe related to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

Phobia is a form of irrational fear usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed. People who suffer phobias need a cognitive behavioral therapy which allow the patient to challenge dysfunctional thoughts or beliefs by being mindful of their own feelings with the aim that the patient will realize their fear is irrational.

Some irrational fears are those that attack our pride, of whether or not we matter in this universe. This is the kind of fear I want to elaborate further. Do we matter? That is the question.

According to a Christian author Max Lucado, we fear we don’t. We fear we are insignificant, that we are nothing. We fear of evaporation. We fear that when our life is tabulated, we make no contribution to the final sum. That’s why it bothers us when our ideas are not taken, when someone cuts our line, or when someone forgets our name, or a colleague takes credit for something we’ve done. That’s why we wear tight fitting jeans just because fashion designers tell us “you’ll be somebody if you wear this,” or that’s why we want to have the loudest voice in a meeting so people would know we are around, because if we don’t then it will affirm our greatest fear - that we don’t matter. For this reason we crave the attention of people, we want to have the last say or the affirmation of what we do, sometimes even dropping names of important people in conversation, or be affiliated with someone who is popular.

Yet the truth is that no matter how much we affirm our presence, no matter how much we do in order to leave a mark, yet somehow there is still a gaping hole in our heart that we continue to fill up by acquiring power, material things and position.

The challenge is not to defend ourselves when we are provoked and our “good name” is challenged; when our pride is brushed off or when others have the last say and we don’t. Question is, is it possible? The answer is yes.

You see our brain processes inputs according to the memory and experiences that we had. Through a pathway it created based on our years of doing and reacting the same way, we form a habit. In order to change a different habit, our brain needs to create a different pathway. This is where the challenge is. When reacting to a familiar stimulus, we need to stop, think and undo the bad reaction and choose a better option.

So, what do we do if we are provoked? First, stop and analyze if the provocation is personal – is it about you or about a situation? If it is about the situation (which more often than not, it is), then be objective and deal with it by not taking it personal. Reason as an adult. If you are very sure the provocation is about you, ask yourself if it is worth defending your dignity and honor when the emotion is high? Most of the times “soft answer turns away anger.” The Bible talks about “being quiet when it is evil time.” More often, the person goes into provoking someone because he himself is threatened. On the other hand, we also cannot be “quiet on the outside and is boiling on the inside;” that’s why we need the Higher Being, the presence of God to change us.

Few weeks ago we had a very good opportunity to ride the A380 Emirates. It’s a giant beast in the sky! There were 4 engines so I thought it would be a noisy flight but guess what, we had the most amazing 13 hour flight to Rome. I’m sure because of the engine it must have been very noisy outside while it was taking off but guess what, we didn’t even realize we were already on air. It was absolutely quiet, no whirring sound of the engine!

This is the ideal life. Noisy on the outside, quiet on the inside. Even when we are threatened. Knowing that we can trust our loving Father in heaven.

Sure this is a hard work; but it does works! As Chinese Philsopher Lao Tze once said: “the greatest battle that a man will ever face is a battle against oneself.”

Sources:

Wikipedia.com

Psychology.com

Max Lucado (2009); Fearless; Thomas Nelson; USA